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With the advantages of procreation swinging so heavily in favor of sufficiently-bearded men over the past few years, we’re beginning to observe an unprecedented wave of hatred emerging against the fashion. This comes as no surprise to me given the non-insignificant number of hapless guys who barely managed to graduate from pre-pubescent peach fuzz or those sporting that pitiful follicular patchwork popularized by Anthony Hamilton. Heretofore, the bulk of outcry has been ostensibly rooted in matters of aesthetic, professionalism and propriety. But today, the haters have garnered a more sophisticated ally to promote their animosity in the pseudoscientific community and their unwitting accomplices… the sensationalist international media. Simply Google search the terms “beard” and “germs” today and observe the countless articles providing unflattering commentary on a terribly unscientific Swedish study purporting to essentially establish that beards are gross. The study they cite is insanely problematic. That is to say…. I assume it is trash given that no study paper is available to the public to scrutinize their methods. For those of you not indoctrinated in scientific standards, we perform studies then publish them for review by our peers within the same field of study prior to establishing whether the study itself or its conclusions are valid. We get a lot of meaningless junk science disseminated by the media when people circumvent this process. An exhaustive critique is forthcoming but for the purposes of this light essay, I’ll just briefly itemize the biggest reasons it’s junk. They didn’t even culture beards!! They cultured MRI machines after bearded men and dogs were placed in them and compared what grew. They then went on to establish that what grew in the men’s cases must be because of the beards. Perhaps it’s just that men are dirtier than dogs and if that’s the case, I’d rather be a sexier, dirty man. To clarify, beard-haters come in all races, genders and creeds. Through different mechanisms, the same sexy truth about bearded men makes us the object of scorn for all sexes. While honest men almost universally acknowledge how much well-groomed facial hair significantly augments their attractiveness, oftentimes insecure women who are significant others of those bearded men simply don’t desire “those” problems. Thus, some women have become the most ardent mispogons. This is in stark contrast to the tastes and priorities of roughly 90% of single women on a mission to get chosen. As for all fashion, full beards will one day lose their luster. But for now, hide your girl…hide your wife because the game is cruel. This is just our time just as those with light-skinned reigned in the 80’s and those with braids had it in the 90’s. As Drake once eloquently stated, “jealousy is just love and hate at the same time”. But please don’t hate the player, hate your genetics.

The entire internet is mourning Nipsey Hu$$le’s untimely death right now. From city mayors to musicians to NBA baby-GOATs, his message and example of Black empowerment is being celebrated. Every celebrity who has ever taken a photo or shared a Twitter exchange with Nip is clamoring to establish their personal relationship with him and convey their hurt and sense of personal loss. As an aside, I’ve always been fascinated observing the widespread phenomenon of grief-expropriation following death in the Black community. It’s the reason why such an inordinately large number of hardly-acquainted people often “just spoke to” or inexplicably discover kinship with the recently departed, but I digress. Nipsey and I were complete strangers. Honestly, I didn’t even care too much for his music despite giving it a good college try. I loved his interviews more than his bars but I admired him because he was an unassuming intellectual and represented Black love and Black agency (among many things) well. Perhaps it’s that unfamiliarity with one another that gives me the luxury and onus of offering a different perspective and reaction to his tragic death. Again, I share most of the admiration for him but there’s little utility in touching further on what seems to universally-conceded. And as eulogies often go, deference is given to emotional support at the expense of the whole truth. I prefer to take on the role of Marvel’s Thanos as the moralistic supervillain and address an inconvenient truth while the proverbial iron is still hot. If you will, miss me with the “it’s too soon for anything but condolences and prayer right now” bullshit too. If evil-Whitey conspiracy theories are being peddled across the internet like Black Friday TVs and are considered suitable for commiserations then I see no impropriety in me being candid. Furthermore, if it’s appropriate for Liberals to decry the scourge of guns and racism before the bodies of 9 beautiful Black souls were even cold in the morgue on 6/17/15, please lend me your eyes and an open mind. The same things that make us ALL love gangsters is the same thing that makes their lives so precarious. There’s an inexplicable allure and charm to individuals who openly balk at the rules that most of us in society submit to. Their personas have come to thrive in a culture of financial Machiavellianism where the ends (money) justifies the means and financial success can absolve us of our past and present transgressions. A common fallacy held in many Black communities there are often no viable options apart from peddling drugs and excelling at athletics bolsters this dynamic. When people we admire for their gifts succumb to the lifestyle that they represent, we willfully suspend that same wisdom that informs us when trying to steer our loved ones away from the streets. To that hard-headed twenty-something year old cousin who fashions himself as a trapper or gangster, we passionately render warning about his lifestyle and how it inevitably leads to a bullet or prison time. But somehow when that person is a celebrated artist, the truth no longer holds priority. According to various sources and the obvious fashion and rhetorical cues, we know that Nipsey was a proud member of the Crips and the “Last Time That I Checc’d”, their mission statement is one that predisposes them to bodily injury and death. According to the LA County Sheriff’s Dept., in 2012 (only reported year), 60% of the 175 murders in LA County were attributable to gangs. With all this being said, is it more plausible that the same powerful government that has managed to kill our greatest leadership was somehow more preoccupied with killing Nipsey Hussle rather than Louis Farrakhan, Assata Shakur or Angela Davis? You’re telling me that he has incurred such wrath of our oppressor because of a documentary he is producing on Dr. Sebi; a man whose skeptical scientific work we ALREADY know about and yet still choose to eat fried chicken? Was this documentary slated to be the catalyst for revolution? If the movie ‘Rosewood’ or ‘Roots’ didn’t set it off then how is anyone so convinced about the transformative capacity of another Dr. Sebi documentary filled with information readily available on Google? We live in times where the truly conscious are made to look like coons because they follow the evidence and aren’t anchored to an agenda or groupthink. It’s not much of an intellectual exercise to blame all of our woes on White supremacy, but it’s not very honest either. Yes, slavery then Black Codes then Jim Crow exacted indellible psychological terror upon us and conditioned many of our people to self-hate and self-destruction. It has set us back economically, politically, socially and disrupted our families and progress through sabotage via COINTELPRO and other covert programs sanctioned by the government. It has exacted a legacy that still maligns us to this day. But a Black man likely killed Nipsey and that’s a narrative exponentially more familiar and problematic for us. We don’t do ourselves any service by just attacking the most convenient targets. At this point in the investigation, we’re all being rather impulsive in making assumptions given how little we know about the facts but such is the nature of any gamble. If I were a betting man though (and it appears I’m wagering my Black card), I would put my money on the culprit being another Black man with a motive for murder that has been engendered or bolstered through a subculture that consumes more Black bodies than the Klan could ever dream of. The responses to this are predictable but there’s far too much to address here to be comprehensive enough to refute them preemptively. Hopefully, this will serve as a primer for a more thorough discussion. The good certainly die young, rest in peace Nipsey. - Dr. Rod Singleton, M.D.

The hate we give is contingent upon the love we have. This is weighed on an ever sliding scale of subjectivity and accumulated goodwill. This concept holds true in just about any scenario. The more egregious the act a person is under scrutiny for, the more goodwill and love they have to have accumulated to survive the court of public opinion. We see time and time again, two people under scrutiny for the same offense and one is crucified publicly , while the other either given a pass, or a flat out refusal by the public to vilify. A pastor with indiscretions of infidelity may be said to be human and make mistakes, while a basketball player in a relationship with a famous social media influencer is given the weight of full social persecution. Thus arises the curious case of Robert Kelly vs. Michael Jackson. For years both of these entertainers were under public scrutiny for their alleged sexual behavior with under-aged children. In the case of Robert Kelly, his alleged transgressions included marrying the beloved Pop and R&B songstress, Aaliyah, several years before her 18th birthday, recording himself giving a golden shower to a wayward teenage girl, and multiple accounts of engaging sexually with teenage girls under 18. On the other hand, we have Michael Jackson, who was alleged to have, at minimum, fondled multiple children at his Neverland Ranch when letting them spend the night. This led to several multimillion dollar settlements and a number of recantations. Both of these high profile entertainers endured years of simultaneous professional success and public scrutiny. One has died and lives on with seemingly high regard by the public, while the other is now facing ten felony counts of sexually assaulting minors. Both have had documentaries made about their alleged sexual misconduct. In one instance most people wanted to grab some popcorn and watch the flames of hell engulf the rest of his career- Robert Kelly. In the other instance, many are refusing to watch, or reluctantly watching with the assumption that it’s all a lie- Michael Jackson. What separates these two and the reception they receive by the public when it comes to their accusations? Sure we can argue that Kelly has way more direct evidence against him. But weak circumstantial evidence has never stopped the angry mob from throwing social media stones before. Sure we can argue that Jackson is dead, and some folks are of the opinion that your transgressions die with you. But there’s plenty of people that will spit on their deadbeat father’s grave 20 years later if given the opportunity. The hard truth is, people love Michael Jackson, and they are tired of Robert Kelly. Michael Jackson reached a place of almost musical sainthood as a result of his continuous presence within the entertainment industry. He is arguably the most famous entertainer to ever walk the earth. Men and women alike have fainted and swooned simply because they were in his physical presence. At least three generations of fans have grown up knowing Jackson, singing his songs, and learning to emulate his moves. On the other hand, you cannot deny that Robert Kelly has enjoyed his fair share of fan craze, but nowhere near on the same level of his counterpart. But Robert has exhausted his goodwill. In the 90’s there were rumors, accusations, and police inquiries. In the 2000’s we heard more about him and his pedophilic trysts. And now in 2019, we have heard that he STILL has not learned his lesson and continues to exhibit what can only be described as compulsive behavior. Jackson had the decency to learn that, the public feels much more at ease if they no longer hear from you and force them to see that you are really, just a mere mortal. The only thing that the public hates more than someone who acts like a piece of shit, is someone who continues to act like a piece of shit when given another chance to be holy in their sight. And that is the failing of Mr. Kelly. He has exhausted his goodwill with the public and the friendly fan faces are dwindling. Mr. Jackson had the decency to die on a scandal-free high. He died with the love of the people and as such, the people tend to find it unpalatable to now screen his past and hold him up to the standards that 2019 America is starting to hold more of their beloved to. Maybe Kelly should take a lesson out of Jackson’s book in an effort to salvage any semblance of his reputation… - Brennen Dunn, Esq.